Fat ass Pinky

Mr Pinky has gone obese in a matter of seconds. Although I'd like to think some crazy slut bit my tongue but it's not.

People would think I'm a freak now. Especially the undoubtly hot women.

A) I'm meant to look at them as how all men are intended to do by nature.

B) Had they asked me where the next party is I would be lisping like a perverted dickwat.

I can't eat whole food. No milk. No acidic based fruits. No booze. No TLC from the THC. For about a week I think. I hope. This is way worse than fasting believe me. So yesterday I had a banana for lunch and alphabet soup for dinner. Today would be no different.

Say this is fun. Why not make a game out of this? Given the listed symptoms, What's wrong with my tongue?